THE Erectus Trouserius (also known as the trouser snake) is the worlds most dangerous snake. Colour varies, from pink to black. It is fangless and its average length is 5 to 9 inches depending on subspecies.

Usually appears in bedrooms but found in unusual places at times. Attacks women in lower part of the abdominal area. Its highly venomous spit can cause prolonged swelling lasting 9 months. It has also been known to attack men from behind.

This often nocturnal and strangely boneless creature with its distinctive purple head is usually a solitary species and more commonly known as the purple headed warrior or one eyed spitting cobra; it is not usually keen on cold weather but nevertheless quite tolerant to an occasional beating by hand.

It often becomes brave and adventurous with a compulsively overactive mind especially when blathered in alcohol.